Hi, my name is Emmie and this year I graduated from Edge Hill with my BA Hons degree in Drama. My time at university was fantastic and there really isn’t a day now when I don’t wish I was back as my countless days waiting for a job to come along really does make my old 9 am lectures feel like child’s play! I’d like to consider myself as your average, run of the mill student, it’s just that in my second year I was diagnosed with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and Bipolar Disorder, which made things a little bit more interesting!

GAD is an anxiety disorder whereby the sufferer feels constantly anxious to some degree (big or small) at all times. This made Fresher’s Week agonising, as making friends, to me, seemed more than impossible. Due to my condition, my immediate reaction to new and scary situations is to crawl back inside myself, not speak and try to keep myself to myself until I can get used to everything and everyone around me. Unsurprisingly, this can make me come across as quite arrogantand up myself as some people see me thinking I’m “too good to talk to anyone”. It’s so infuriating when this really couldn’t be further from the truth! I want to speak to them, I’d kill to be able to speak to them, however I simply just can’t. I know anxiety is a very hard thing to understand and a lot of people, as so many just think it’s simply being shy. Shy people are quiet and withdrawn in certain situations, people with anxiety disorders have this all the time. The main difference being is being shy is a personality trait, anxiety is a disorder. 

If you are coming to university with a mental illness it is so, so easy to feel like you are totally on your own. You are miles from home and everyone/anything you know and love, and you’re not thinking right, just remember that it isn’t just you, there’s thousands of others feeling exactly like you. Mental illness is something that affect one in four of us, so when your sat in your new lecture theatre terrified, thinking that everyone else on your course is making friends and feeling so much happier than you? Chances are, there are more people than you first thoughts.

Coming to university is an absolutely massive change for anyone, especially if you’re suffering from a mental illness, but it is important that you take full advantage of all the support networks put in place for you at your new home for the next three years – trust me, it makes life so much easier! Ask your student union about the free and confidential counselling services that are available to you for as long as you need. Also, never be afraid to speak about your disorder with your personal tutor, this is especially important if it is affected your ability to do your work. During my second year, my anxiety got really bad to the point I wasn’t able to attend lectures where I knew there were going to be lots of people in the room, and so if it hadn’t have been for the help from my tutors I would have fallen behind massively! They can make special arrangements and can take special circumstances into account, you really don’t have to struggle through this alone!
Just remember. You are not alone in feeling like this, and there is so much support out there. Never, ever let your diagnosis control you and who you are. Your time at university is going to be the best in your life, make sure you make the most of it! Good luck!