Tuesday 11-10-2022 - 09:00

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated in 1988. Thirty years later, we're still celebrating it.

 

National Coming Out Day falls annually on 11 October. It was first celebrated one year after the march on Washington in 1987, which advocated for gay and lesbian rights, as a day to champion those in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community who come out and live openly. Nowadays, the sentiment of National Coming Out Day is hugely important for the LGBTQ+ community all around the world. 

 

Coming out is a unique experience. It's different from person to person, and everybody in the LGBTQ+ community has their own story. It's also not a once-and-done experience. Queer people will find themselves coming out to different people at different times throughout their life. Some people may choose to tell those who are closest to them like friends and family, then may decide to come out to work colleagues or more casual acquaintances later. 

 

Everyone has a different coming out story to tell, and for some like myself, I never saw coming out as a big deal.  As a gay man, I never saw the need to make a huge self-declaration of who I liked. My brother, who is heterosexual, never came out to my parents to say he liked women, so why should I have to come out and say I like men? Introducing my boyfriend at the time to family and friends was a fussy yet lovely experience like most have when those closest to you get to meet your new significant other. When I meet people who don't know and they assume my sexuality as something else, I correct them - any queer person is well within their rights to. 

 

That's my story, but it's not like that for everybody. Coming out can be a huge challenge for some people. The fear of discrimination, homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia are all concerns that can make it easier to stay ‘in the closet’, potentially struggling with anxiety and fear of being outed while they try to be themselves. As a queer community, sharing our coming out journeys helps empower other LGBTQ+ people and cisgender straight allies to take action and make society a better place for everyone. Since the recognition of National Coming Out Day, we have seen a shift in the pro-LGBTQ+ legislation including same sex marriage, the Equality Act, and the education reform, all of which have helped to support and protect the LGBTQ+ community.  Fourty years ago, 40% of people believe it was morally wrong to be gay. In 2019, that figure reduced to just 13%.

 

Despite the growth in legislation reform, this doesn’t mean the fight for LGBTQ+ rights are over. Around the world, we can see the campaigns for changes in legalisation and attitudes towards the LGBTQ+ community. As sadly, for some coming out can be dangerous and simply not an option. Moreover, it is important to recognise that we shouldn’t see National Coming Out as a day where we make people come nor should we shame those who do not but rather a day to rejoice in being who you are. As well as having the comfortability to come out if we want to and to celebrate with those who may come out to us.

 

It's also important to consider that in some environments, it's not always safe to come out. In 12 countries, people engaging in same-sex sexual activity can still face the death penalty. Meanwhile, 68 countries still criminalise homosexuality, only 19 countries allow trans people to serve in the armed forces, and few countries outside of Europe and the Americas allow same-sex couples to adopt children. This echoes the necessity for more campaigning for changes in attitudes and equitable legislation across the globe.

 

When some argue that coming out shouldn't be necessary, I would agree. We shouldn't see peoples' choice not to come out as ‘hiding’ or ‘lying’, nor should we see people as straight and cisgender by default. But that ideal is a long way off. Many still make assumptions that everybody is straight and cisgender, but that couldn't be further from the truth. To change that, we need to foster a positive coming out environment that provides reassurance and hope to LGBTQ+ people, opening our straight cisgender peers' eyes to the diversity of humanity. 

 

If you take one thing from this, please remember to take your time with your coming out journey. You mightn't feel ready to come out yet, and you might feel you don't need to come out at all. Whatever you decide is fine, and however long it takes for you to figure that out is fine. This is your journey. Don't let anybody navigate it for you. 

 

National Coming Out Day does more than just supporting people come out. It helps raise awareness of our communities and the prejudices still faced by many LGBTQ+ people. But most of all, it lets us be out and proud about who we are - just as we should every day.