Thursday 09-05-2024 - 09:18

 

When I approached a friend to talk about Men’s Mental Health, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Why? Because he was a man. Despite my intention to address this issue, I was already reflecting my own prejudices, subsequently emphasising the importance of the subject.  

 

I know I wouldn’t have felt such apprehension if I approached a woman to talk on the same topic.  

 

When he was more than willing to share, my anxieties rapidly faded. From his own struggles with mental health, he understood its profound impact on his life, and how conversations surrounding wellbeing and masculinity have been highly stigmatised by society and the media. Expression of men’s mental health can be demonised and make men feel unheard and ashamed. For instance, when men discuss common issues that impact their mental health, they often receive a more negative reaction, notoriously being dismissed or undermined. Their call for help is notoriously referred to as ‘weak,’ but it is not: reaching out is incredibly brave and shows strength, resilience and maturity.  

 

 

Then social media comes into play. You often hear about female-centric issues that affect women’s mental health, particularly things such as body image and beauty standards. I am all too familiar with these prevalent issues and do want to undermine their profound influence. However, I would like to consider more recognition and discourse surrounding men’s body image and mental health.  Having men on social media who speak up about their mental health can have a positive impact and start breaking down those barriers that have seemed cemented in place for generations.  

 

 

We discussed the variance in therapies that are often used for mental wellbeing: meditation, colouring, making tote bags or decorating mugs. These are all wonderful, positive mechanisms, however, not entirely tailored towards the masculine population. We went on to talk about the psychological nature of some men, and the need for more alternative wellbeing activities that cater to this. Contact sports, team building, controlled breaking in a safe environment. All of which is proven to release natural endorphins and pain killers. The lack of such resources feeds into so many men choosing silence. There needs to be room to release negative emotions and regulate in a way that works for masculine needs. However, social preconceptions and stigma has bred negative perceptions and embarrassment from external groups.  

 

 

When I was younger, I held a prejudice towards men, due to my own past. I was too scared to try and understand the inner workings of their minds, but I know I needed to. Since then, I gave more consideration to male mental health, particularly their high suicide rates, and how they often resort to more dangerous and destructive coping mechanisms. I quickly realised that something else was going on. So, I asked my friend, to tell me how it is. What would you like to say about men’s mental health. 

 

 

 It went a little something like this... 

 

 

Get to know men and their minds. For a masculine person, your needs, and the world around you, is so different. There is a saying that Men come from Mars and Women come from Venus, and it's so true. Men can need to express things differently and that doesn’t mean they’re angry at you, they’re most likely angry at the world. It doesn’t make it okay for the anger to be taken out on people, but when we’re prevented from expressing ourselves in a way that helps us altogether, it means it builds and builds and that’s why we often completely explode or snap. We need the space to let out anger and stress safely. The anger, distraction and despondence vanish when there is a space to release that deep-seated energy and anger. Afterwards, kindness, patience, and understanding shines through, and you’ll meet a new, and great man. This is the person we want to be, which is why we need more accessibility to spaces, resources and mechanisms that are tailored to us. Get to know how our brain works, because our need to release anger isn’t always ‘dangerous’ as it is perceived, unless we are prevented from doing so. Communicate those ways that could make it work, allow us the safe space, and finally, let men be men. Because really, and I can say this wholeheartedly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. 

 

 

For so long, a man's mind was a daunting prospect to me. I didn't realise the ignorance i had in facing and acknowledging the issues that they can face. The challenges and stigma men face has had a huge impact on how they express their mental health and consequently, has led to some scary statistics. Join me on my passion project to tackle the taboo behind men’s mental health. I broke down my own boundaries, and I promise that it’s worth doing.